Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
My vagina is very pro this idea
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
