Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
