there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
