People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
