Kiss
Puke
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
