Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Green mimosas i think yes
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
