Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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