You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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