I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
