He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
