So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
there was a trapeze. enough said
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
