Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
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