Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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