Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
