May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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