it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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