maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
