D3 body, D1 cock
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
