Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
It's blow job season.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Randomize
