I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
