He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
