As long as you're not dating white guys again.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
