How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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