The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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