You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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