oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
