shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
and you fell through a lawn chair
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
