found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Randomize
