I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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