I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
