The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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