i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
this hospital has no fireball
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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