You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
