And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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