mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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