fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
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