matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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