You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
They have beer where we have blood.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
