I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
You may now shotgun with the bride
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
