I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
