he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
