office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I have fence marks all over my body
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
