just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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