would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
