Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
