is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
