Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
