try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
