Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
