I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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