I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
