you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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