I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
