i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
