It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
