i permit you to call me
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Randomize
