Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
